The Mission
by Orange Gel
Summary: An accident during a mission turns the five pilots into girls; however, the mission must go on.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello! To start, this fic idea originated from re-watching GW and a weird fan art pic from a website that shall remain nameless. The pic was the five pilots dressed as girls in female Sanc Kingdom uniforms, and Wufei looked absolutely pissed. The thought got stuck in my head, and poof, here's a weird fic concept. While some pairings may seem implied, I do not intend to pair anyone up. This is pure humor, no romance (no **real** romance anyway, just jokes). On that note, I don't want to hear any complaints regarding proper couples in the GW universe. Also, while I try to keep in character, everyone has different opinions on OOC, and I apologize if that happens. I did not create this show or own any of it, so it won't be perfect. If you don't like it, don't read it. Reviews with constructive criticism are welcome. Thanks._

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><p>THE MISSION<p>

The year is After Colony 197. War has subsided. Peace has begun to settle into the Earth Sphere. However, not everyone desires peace, and small revolts flare up on both the colonies and Earth. A peacekeeping group, the Preventers, continues to put out such fires before they go out of control. This story focuses on one such revolt that was quelled by five of the Preventers' members in the most unusual way.

AFTER NOON: PREVENTERS BRIEFING ROOM: LOCATION UNKNOWN

"A terrorist hiding in the St. Gabriel Institute?" Trowa Barton flips through a small stack of papers as he addresses his superior, Sally Po.

"Yes. I figure transferring in a few students will attract far less attention than several new faculty members being hired in the middle of a term. The five of you-"

"Hey~!" Duo Maxwell leans his elbow on Heero Yuy's shoulder, "Isn't that where Relena used to go to school back in the day?" Heero glares at Duo's elbow, then shoves Duo off.

"That's the other problem. The Vice Foreign Minister, Relena Darlian, has recently decided to finish her schooling, and is now attending that school as well." Sally sighs as she continues, "This will be a very delicate mission and the need to be discreet is most important, _Maxwell_."

Duo throws his arms in air, "Sure single _me_ out. Personally, I think Wufei would have more trouble fitting in than I would."

Chang Wufei raises an eyebrow at Duo, "Oh really? _I_ don't discuss confidential matters loudly while ordering at a drive-through window..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize your request for me to pick up _your contacts_ was relevant to our mission."

Sally massages her temples, "Anyway, I contacted Howard down on Earth, and he has acquired a house you boys can live in during the mission. It is located fairly close to the Darlian estate, so it will be easier to watch over the minister until we can root out the terrorist. Are there any questions?"

Quatre R Winner, who has been listening to discussion quietly, raises his hand, "What should we do if we actually encounter the terrorist, Miss Sally?"

"We'll need to confirm any evidence we receive here at headquarters before we can arrest any suspects. If you find the terrorist, monitor him or her until we send additional orders. Anything else?" After confirming everyone was ready, "Good. Dismissed."

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><p>THE NEXT EVENING: A QUAINT COTTAGE NEAR THE DARLIAN ESTATE<p>

The front door is pushed wide open with a _slam_. Duo, with his hand still on the door, loudly exclaims, "Finally! Hey Howard, buddy! You home?"

Wufei pushes pass Duo, and enters the house, "Not even one day, and you've already thrown discretion out the window."

Everyone gets inside as Howard comes out of the kitchen, holding a tray with a pitcher and some glasses. The pitcher seems to contain milk. "Oh hey, you guys are just in time to try out my latest experiment!" Howard sets the tray down on the coffee table.

Heero points at the pitcher, "I thought you were an engineer, not a chemist."

Howard shrugs, "Everyone's got to have a hobby." Howard stars pouring the 'milk' into glasses.

"Um, you want us to drink that?" Quatre looks at the glass Howard has offered him, trying to hide his nervous expression.

"What is it?" Trowa carefully sniffs the contents of his glass.

"Oh, just a vitamin supplement I made up. I'm sick of taking all those stupid pills. It supposed give the same effects only it's in a milk form. The desired effect is to make the body stronger..."

"Stronger?" Wufei glares at the glass and then downs it one gulp. He shrugs, "Well, the effects are certainly not immediate. I don't feel any stronger."

Quatre continues to stare down into his glass, "Is it... safe?"

"Don't worry about it, Quatre!" Duo shows Quatre his empty glass, "I just downed two glasses and I'm not dead yet!"

"It's just milk." Heero has tried half, then finishes it.

"That's the idea. It's supposed to just taste like milk. I got the taste right, now I just need a way to figure out if the supplements are working." Howard pauses, thinking. Then, he just shrugs, "Ah well, I'll get to it soon enough."

Trowa puts a hand on Quatre's shoulder, "It seems harmless enough." Trowa drinks his.

Quatre sighs and tries the drink to be polite, "It really does seem like just plain milk."

Duo heads for the kitchen, "I hope you have food to go with this; I'm starving!"

Quatre carefully puts the glass back on the tray, "I guess it's perfectly normal..."

* * *

><p>MORNING: SAME LOCATION<p>

Wufei trudges down the hall, half-asleep. He pushes his glasses up his nose, and opens the bathroom door. Heero comes out of his room, only slightly more alert than Wufei, "Worst sleep I've had in my life..." Heero mumbles as he passes Wufei in the hall. Wufei replies with an agreeable grunt and shuts the door. Heero continues down to the kitchen.

Howard is at the counter with his back turned, pouring a cup of coffee. He puts his mug down, and starts to turn with the coffee pot still in hand, "Geez, it's about time you kids got up. How do you take your-" Howard looks at Heero, then freezes in shock, "Whoa..."

Heero, slightly annoyed by Howard's strange behavior, glares, "How do I take my 'whoa'? Is that another weird drink of yours?"

"Uh, well... Heero you're..." Howard tries to form the right words.

Suddenly, a loud crash comes from upstairs; followed by a shrill scream, "No! This can't be! It's got to be some kind of disgusting nightmare!"

Placing the pot back on the counter, Howard points at Heero, "You're a babe!"

Confused and irritated, Heero hardens his glare, "What?"

The door to kitchen flies open, and Duo enters, tapping Heero on the shoulder, "Mornin', Pal!" Duo stops next to Heero and looks down Heero's loose tank top, "Huh. Pretty small..." Duo taps Heero again, then goes over to the fridge.

Heero, still confused and now even more irate, looks down at his chest, and sees... breasts. He stares for a minute, then touches them. He begins to look down further when the door is thrown open again, this time knocking him to the floor. Wufei points to Howard, fury burning in his eyes, "You! What injustice is this? You did this, didn't you?"

Howard shrugs, "I'm just as confused as you are, man, err _wo_man."

Heero, reaching the edge of his patience, gets up, brushes himself off, then glares at Wufei. The glare suddenly turns to a blush, and Heero turns away, "Wufei, you're..."

Wufei wrings his tank top with his hands, "I'm a damned woman! I know!"

Heero continues to divert his gaze as Duo turns from the fridge and points an orange juice carton at Wufei, "Actually Wu-man, I think Heero was gonna say 'you're not wearin' a shirt'."

Wufei glances at his blue tank top in his hands, then quickly throws it over himself, "Gyah, you damned pervert! Don't look at me!" Wufei crosses his arms over his chest. Then looks Duo over. He's dressed normally, and doesn't look much different, "Damn you! You had more of that accursed milk than all of us put together! Why are you still a man?"

Duo slams the carton on the kitchen table, "You can't tell! Mine are like twice the size of yours!" He smooths out his baggy black shirt to show off his figure, "I'm even hotter than Hilde now! God, just because I don't make a big freakin' stink about it..."

"How can you not? Where is your pride as a man! You disgust me, Maxwell!"

As Duo and Wufei continue bickering, Trowa comes into the kitchen in only a towel. He's pulling at it to cover all he can. "I don't suppose anyone can find a store around here; my clothes are too tight and everyone here is smaller than me."

Wufei sharply turns to face Trowa, "_This_ happens to us, and _that_ is your biggest problem?"

"Well, yes. I'm not going to parade around naked. I'll have plenty of time to deal with this predicament once I have some clothes that fit." Trowa notices Duo and Heero's stares and glares at them.

Duo scratches the back of his head and chuckles nervously, "Don't take it personally, Trowa. It's not every day I see a pretty lady wet and clad only in a tiny towel!" Duo wolf-whistles at Trowa; Heero punches Duo hard in the shoulder, "Ow! Damn it, Heero! What was that for?"

"You're just making things worse." Heero leans against the counter, "We have less than 24 hours until we begin our undercover mission. We need to alter our stories to fit our little problem. It shouldn't be too hard. I'll go get started." Heero pushes himself off the counter and exits the kitchen.

"I just noticed somethin'," Duo looks around, "Quatre's usually awake way earlier than the rest of us. Maybe's he's not taking this too well."

"Please," Wufei snorts, "I have a feeling he'd be _thrilled _over the change..."

"What could possibly give you that idea?" Quatre stands at the door with his hands on his hips. He's wearing his usual outfit, but appears to be rather uncomfortable in it. "Is it my shirts? Because, I'm _really_ sick of that story!"

Duo leans close to Wufei's ear, "Whoa, bitchy..."

Trowa turns to Quatre, "Are you okay?"

Quatre growls, "Do I _look_ okay? Not only am I a girl, I'm... I'm..." Quatre looks at the floor and says softly, "On a period..."

"You're on the rag?" Duo laughs, "Sucks to be you!"

Quatre walks up to Duo and smacks him, "I'm in no mood for your bullshit this morning, got it?"

Duo rubs his face, taken aback by Quatre's new attitude. Trowa puts a hand on Quatre's shoulder, "Duo, stop the jokes. Quatre, I'm sure we'll figure out a solution soon. This isn't the worst thing that's happened to us."

"Speak for yourself." Wufei mutters as he slumps into a seat at the kitchen table.

Quatre fidgets uncomfortably, and looks over at Duo again. Duo puts his hands in the air in mock surrender, and steps back. Quatre grabs Duo by the arm and starts to drag him out the door. "You're coming to the drugstore with me!"

"Huh? What for?" Duo tries to get away, but Quatre's grip is solid.

"I'm _not_ going to buy feminine napkins _alone_!"

"Fem- wha-? Oh-no... No way! Hilde made me pick those things up for her once, and it was humiliating. Never mind that she sent me _back_ after I got the wrong ones. I can never go into that store again. Besides, how the Hell do _you _know what to get anyway? Don't tell me Wu-man's right about you; I've got a hundred dollars on the line that you're perfectly straight-" Quatre twists Duo's arm, "_Shit!_ What's with the violence?"

"Duo... I have toilet paper in my pants, and my patience is wearing thin. I have _twenty-nine_ older sisters. I shared a bathroom with over half of them in my lifetime. Where," Quatre gives Duo's arm another twist, "do," twist, "you," another twist, "think," yet another twist, "I," again, "get it," and once more, "from?"

"Okay, okay! Let's just get this over with..." Duo lets Quatre tow him out of the house.

* * *

><p>AFTERNOON: SAME LOCATION<p>

"You could have at least changed our names, Yuy!" Wufei slams a sheet of papers onto the kitchen table.

Heero gives Wufei a blank stare, "I did not believe that was important."

"For once, I agree with Wufei. Relena, at the very least, is going to take one look at us and laugh her ass off! Did you even think about _that_, Heero?" Duo slams his head down onto the table and mutters incoherently into it.

Heero stares, blinks once, then continues, "I managed to get our uniforms delivered immediately, and I acquired some research material to help us blend in," Heero rummages through a bag and places some magazines onto the table.

Wufei stares at the magazines with disgust. "You have got to be kidding me. You call this _smut_ research?"

Quatre flips through one, "They're not _that_ bad. Some of the articles are pretty decent." Wufei raises an eyebrow at Quatre, and Quatre gives out a frustrated sigh, "My sisters leave them in the bathroom, and they pass the time when- Ugh, do I have to explain _everything_ to you people!"

Duo continues to mutter at the table, "Five to seven days, might as well be eternity..."

Trowa pokes Duo in the shoulder, "I said stop it. If we stay like this for a month, we're _all_ going to have Quatre's problem."

Duo keeps his head down, "Well, aren't we a little ray of sunshine..."

Trowa sighs, "Arguing is going to get us nowhere." Trowa picks up a magazine and looks at Heero, "Where are the uniforms?"

Heero points toward the inside door, "Living room."

Trowa gets up and heads for the door to the living room, "I'm getting dressed, then I'm going to the mall to purchase some appropriate attire. I suggest the rest of you do the same." Trowa goes into the other room.

"We have sixteen hours before we begin our mission. We should prepare." Heero begins to read one of the magazines.

Duo raises his head and pushes one of the magazines back and forth with his fingers, "Hilde says only prissy girls read these."

Heero responds without looking up from the magazine he's studying, "Then read it well Duo; tomboys don't usually let their hair grow long."

"I'm not even going to _dignify_ that with a comment."

"Good."


	2. Chapter 2: Shopping and Relena

_Thanks everyone, for your kind reviews! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!_

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><p>EVENING: LOCAL MALL<p>

Having caught up with Trowa, the five boys turned girls search for proper clothes. Wufei drags himself along far behind the others. He's staring at the ground and fuming to himself. Duo notices Wufei falling behind and calls out, "What's wrong now? You'll lose us if you keep that up!"

"These uniforms..." Wufei picks at his skirt, "Why must they be... pink?"

Duo shrugs, "I dunno; maybe it's the school color."

"It's much too feminine! I look like a fool!"

Duo falls back and lowers his voice slightly, "Are you _tryin'_ to set Quatre off again? It already took two pints of ice cream to calm him down. Let's not start any trouble with him for a while, okay?"

"Fine, but why are we taking so long? Let's just get what we need and leave."

Duo sighs and rubs his temples. "Heero's getting all serious about us blending in and stuff. He said," Duo narrows his eyes and speaks in a monotone, "The research material clearly states that teenage girls always walk around the entire mall at least once before even choosing a store." Duo rolls his eyes and resumes talking normally, "As always, he is taking this _way_ too far."

While they were talking Duo didn't notice the others stopping and walked right into Heero's back. Heero turned around and pointed to a department store, "We'll start here. Remember to be picky. It will look strange if we just take the first thing we see. Also, try _everything_ on first. Even if you are confident it will fit." Heero grabs Wufei by the arm when he tries to go on ahead, "And we need to stay together. Teenage girls do not shop alone. Are we clear?"

Wufei sighs, defeated, "Fine; have it your way."

They begin to sift through the many racks of clothes. Duo holds up a pair of panties, "Hey, I just thought of somethin'... How are we going to explain these expenses to Une?"

"I have already given a full report regarding our condition to headquarters..." Heero turns and snatches the panties out of Duo's hands, "And I'm sure those would make you look like a cow."

"Oh, come on, Heero!" Duo whines, "Who's gonna see that anyway?"

"It doesn't matter. You have bad taste, and since I'm posing as your friend, I'm at liberty to stop you from picking out ugly things." Heero goes back to the rack he's been looking through.

Duo looks over at Heero with an impish smile and an evil gleam in his eyes, "Bad taste, huh? Well, _best buddy_, I guess I would have to inform you to stay away from revealing shirts, 'cause you have nothin' worth showin'."

"Keep with the black, it's _slimming_."

"Wear skirts, or people might mistake you for a boy."

"Restrain yourself when thinking about that _third _slice of cake."

"Get yourself a push-up, flat-" Duo is interrupted by giggling. Duo and Heero turn and see Trowa clutching his sides and giggling uncontrollably. "What's so funny, Trowa?"

"I can't help it. You two are just so convincing. You don't even need to act." Trowa tries to stop his giggle fit with little success.

Duo pokes his own stomach, "You really think I'm _fat_, Heero?"

"If by fat, you mean bigger than the rest of us, yes. Do you really think I have small breasts?"

Duo puts his hands on his hips and mockingly replies, "If by small, you mean smaller than the rest of us, _yes_."

Wufei walks over to Trowa, "Are they really having this 'woman spat', or are they trying too hard at being female?"

"I think it's real," Trowa clears his throat and crosses his arms, "I'm starting to wonder if the change is more than physical..."

"Stop right there, Barton." Wufei holds up a hand, "Every time that thought even _crosses _your mind just think of something manly."

Trowa nods, "Yes, you're right. I do not feel any emotional changes occurring within myself, and Duo's just baiting Heero again."

"_Baiting_?" Duo turns to Trowa, "He started it!"

"By following mission protocol." Trowa plainly responds.

Duo crosses his arms and sighs, "You people are so much more boring as girls. Where the Hell did Quatre go anyway? Even bloated and acting like a complete bitch, he's still more fun to be around than you guys!" Duo turns and begins to search the area for Quatre.

The three remaining exchange questioning looks, "I thought he was with you, Barton." Wufei glances around.

"We should have kept a closer eye on him. He's been unstable today." Trowa walks off in the opposite direction Duo went to search for Quatre.

Heero just crosses his arms, "I told him we should stay together."

"Man, where did he go?" Elsewhere, but still in the same department, Duo stomps around the back of the section. He comes to a halt in front of the changing room. He hesitates before peering around the corner. Then, something dawns on him, "Oh, the power... heh, heh... With this body I can just walk on in. _Nice_." Duo steps over the doorway into the changing room, "To boldly go where no man has gone before!" He looks around casually as he ventures further in. Much to his pleasure, there are a good amount of girls in various stages of undress. His gaze stops on a girl with mid-length blond hair, who is examining the bra and panties she's trying on in the mirror.

The girl notices Duo's stare in the reflection of the mirror, and shrieks. "Ah, Duo! Don't scare me like that!"

"Quatre!"

"What on Earth were you staring at so intently? You had the creepiest look on your face!"

"Uh..." Duo averts his gaze and scratches the back of his head, "Nothin' really, just lookin' for ya..." Duo ends his answer with a nervous chuckle. Looking around, Duo notices the other girls staring at them, "What? Don't tell me you girls never snuck-up on one of your friends at least once! Geez!"

Once everyone has gone back to their normal activities, Quatre addresses Duo again, "Seriously what were you looking at? I'm not wearing this thing wrong, am I? And, _please_, keep your voice down..."

Duo pouts, "_You _screamed. And don't ask me if it's on wrong or not. _Heero_, oh guru of woman behavior, probably knows..."

"What did he say to you now? You know he's blunt."

"He called me fat!"

"Did he actually use the word 'fat'?"

"Well, no... but..."

"Duo, those breasts are huge. You have more curves than the rest of us, and he doesn't know anyone else to compare you to."

"I guess..." Duo sighs before noting, "Hey, when did your rational side come back?"

Quatre sighs, "When the pills I bought at the drugstore finally kicked in. I should have read the box. Apparently, you're not suppose to take them on an empty stomach."

Duo rolls his eyes, "They make special pills for that condition? Women are way more complicated than I thought."

Quatre checks the straps to the bra, then gives Duo a suspicious glare, "You weren't ogling me earlier, when you first came in? You seemed awfully surprised to see me."

Duo glances at the ceiling, "Yeah..."

"Honest as ever, I see..."

"Does it make you feel better that I didn't know it was you?"

Quatre sighs, "Is there anyone of us you haven't stared at, or _won't_?"

"Heero." Duo replies immediately, "He looks like a twelve-year-old. Wufei too. Except, he looks like an angry old lady. But you and Trowa, you guys make really hot girls!" Quatre winces at Duo's statement. Duo shrugs, "Hey, you asked, and I don't lie. Besides, I think _I'm_ pretty hot myself! Don't you think so?"

"What?"

"Hey, I told you I'd hit ya if I was normal. Your turn. Am I sexy?"

"Tell me you're just fishing for a statement that will win you that hundred bucks..."

"Nah, Wufei and I agreed that we'd have to catch you in the act and record it-"

Quatre squeaks.

"Anyway," Duo continues, "I'm not letting you avoid the question. I can't be the only one of us who has divided the hittable and the 'no way in Hell'."

"You really want to know? Fine. You look so attractive, that you make that uniform look like something out of a porn magazine! If I didn't know who you really were, I wouldn't be able to keep my eyes off you! Happy?"

Duo smiles, "Yeah, I got it goin' on!"

"You won't be pleased by that fact when boys start to hit on you. Not to mention that Heero will make you date these people, because it may help us find and get close to the terrorist."

Duo frowns, "Didn't think about that. We should probably get back to the others. They probably think you completely snapped and started to terrorize the shoppers."

* * *

><p>FOLLOWING MORNING: ST. GABRIEL INSTITUTE<p>

"Why are we here so God damned early?" Duo whines as the group approaches the front gates to the school.

Heero answers plainly, "We need to locate Relena before classes begin and brief her on our 'situation'. We cannot have her blow our cover."

"Why the Hell didn't you just find her last night?" Duo presses, "Then, I would've had another hour of sleep!"

"I did not think of that."

"Bullshit," Duo rolls his eyes, "Mr. Perfect Soldier not thinking of somethin' even _I _pick up on? You just didn't want to face her alone, right?" Then, with a smile Duo adds, "You won't admit it, but you're embarrassed."

Heero turns and walks through the gates, "We're wasting time. Let's go."

Duo chuckles as the others follow Heero into the building. Heero walks down the halls intently, already knowing his destination. When they stop by a set of double doors on the second floor, Heero takes a cautious look around, "The area is secure. If my sources are correct, she should be alone on the veranda." Heero opens the door, and steps outside.

"Can I tell her?" Duo pleads.

"No," the other four stiffly reply in unison.

Duo pouts as he follows the others across the veranda. Relena stands on the railing overlooking the school's courtyard, her back to the five. Without turning around Relena addresses them, "I was told you were coming. I promise I will cooperate, but what I don't understand is why you insist I claim I never met you when everyone knows you were enrolled here before. No one knows who you really are... How could you-" Relena sharply turns to face everyone and cuts herself off with a gasp.

"There was a..." Heero tries to explain, "...situation."

"We're not exactly sure what caused this to happen to us, but the fact of the matter is-"

Duo cuts Quatre off, "We got hooters!"

Quatre turns beet red, "Duo!" Quatre sighs, "Something we drank turned all of us into girls, and we don't know how to reverse it."

Relena continues to stare at the group. After a moment of awkward silence, Relena bursts out laughing. Duo grins and slaps Heero on the back, "See? Totally called it!"

"This isn't funny, woman!" Wufei snaps, "We could be like this for the rest of our miserable lives!"

Relena covers her mouth and tries to compose herself, "I'm sorry, but you guys all look so silly!"

"Hn," Heero simply heads back toward the door, "Come on. We need to check in with the school's headmaster."


	3. First Day and One Uncomfortable Evening

_Hello! Sorry for the long gap in updating, but between life and my other fic, things got nuts. Also, thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts! I really appreciate them! Also, if anyone wants to draw stuff about this fic, that would be so cool and I would love to see them (squee!). Please enjoy the new chapter._

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><p>AFTERNOON: ST. GABRIEL INSTITUTE<p>

Sitting on a chair just outside of the headmaster's office, Wufei sighs as he watches Duo being dragged to his location by one of the nuns.

"Of all the things a lady should not do, I simply cannot believe you, Miss Maxwell!" The nun pushes Duo into the chair, "You wait here. The headmaster is going to have some words with you!"

Wufei raises an eyebrow when Duo only obediently nods. After the nun leaves, Wufei turns to Duo, "Two things, first, why are you here, and second, why are you not whining about it?"

Duo crosses his arms over his chest, "Why are _you_ here?"

"It is rude to ask before answering."

Duo rolls his eyes, "I'm just sayin' that you have no right to tell me I'm standing out, when we're both in the same boat."

"I did not say that," Wufei grits his teeth and tries to stay patient, "I merely wanted to know what happened. If it helps, Yuy is currently in the office for misbehavior as well."

"What? What the Hell did _he_ do?"

Wufei shrugs, "I have no idea."

"You must have saw him go in there."

"I was already seated here when I saw the headmaster drag him into her office. The strange thing was his face was rather pale, and he was shaking when they went in there."

Duo runs his hand through his bangs, "You think he got caught by the terrorist?"

"That seems rather improbable. If the terrorist is really worth this investigation, he would not reveal himself so readily. Also, Yuy would not be so obvious. I'm sure it was something even he could not imagine."

"Huh, so are you just hangin' out here to ask him about it when he comes out?"

Wufei turns away, "No, I was put here to wait for the headmaster before Yuy's more pressing problem came up."

"What did _you_ do?"

Wufei growls in frustration, "I told you that you must answer my questions first."

"Pushy," Duo leans back in the chair, "I kicked a guy in the nuts." Wufei lets out an exasperated sigh, "In my defense, he slapped me in the ass first, but I guess the sister didn't catch that part. As for the second question, I'll tell you about that when you tell me about the 'Nataku' thing you always spout off."

"Ah, past issues, I understand. As for myself, well, let's just say I made a bit of a blunder."

Duo crinkles his nose at Wufei, "You are not getting away with that explanation, buddy, and you know it."

"Fine," Wufei sighs again, "But, you must swear you won't laugh."

Duo beams, "Oh, this oughta be good."

"Swear it."

Duo throws his arms up, "Fine, I promise I won't laugh. Geez..."

Wufei focuses on the floor trying to hide the blush creeping to his face, "I went into the wrong restroom. Apparently, that caused a lot of commotion from the other boys."

Duo bites his lip, trying to fight back the snickers, "It could be an honest mistake, unless you actually _tried to go_ before you realized it."

"I did." Duo chews on his lip as he pulls out his phone and starts to fiddle with it. Wufei gives Duo a wary look, "What are you doing?"

"You said I couldn't laugh, but you didn't say it was a secret."

"Who did you just text?"

"Nobody. I just emailed everybody in my address book."

Wufei pales, "And just who is included on that list?"

"Let's see, the other guys, Relena – Now, that I know she has a sense of humor. - Howard... Headquarters..."

"WHAT?"

"Keep it down, Wu-man. We don't need to put ourselves in even more trouble," Duo starts to laugh.

"I thought you were not going to laugh..."

"I'm laughing at the current situation, not your," Duo snorts, "_'blunder'_!" Duo continues to giggle.

"Disgusting," Wufei glares at Duo, "Your annoying chuckling sounds like feminine giggles."

Duo continues to giggle, "Oh, yeah? What about that high-pitched squeal you gave off when you found out Sally's gonna hear about your little 'adventure'?"

"Shut it, Maxwell!"

The door to the office opens with an audible click. Duo and Wufei bolt upright in their seats, and face the door.

"I agree that what happened is rather upsetting, but there are better ways to handle those type of situations. This is your **only** warning, and you will be serving detention every afternoon until you understand the severity of the situation."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Good. Miss Chang, get in," the headmaster points inside the office, "Be lucky, your offense is the _least_ of my concerns right now." Wufei gets up and goes into the office. Duo giggles, and the headmaster glares at him, "And don't think I forgot about you, Miss Maxwell! That boy had to go to the hospital, I'll have you know!" The headmaster goes into the office and slams the door shut.

Heero turns his attention onto Duo, "This isn't good. Do you realize that this looks rather suspicious? Three of the five new transfers got in trouble on the first day."

Duo lays back in the chair and stretches his arms over his head, "I figured you would have at least planned for _my_ scenes. What the Hell did _you_ do?"

Heero sinks into the chair and starts to shake. The color drains from his face, and he wraps his arms around his chest. Duo frowns and looks down at the floor. He nervously starts to kick his legs. Just when Duo starts to say Heero doesn't have to talk about, Heero starts to talk quietly, "Between classes, I managed to get cornered by a group of guys. I still can't believe I didn't see it coming. I mean they... they..."

"Whoa, whoa! This is supposed to be a strict school! How do they get off sayin' that's just 'upsetting'?" Duo puts a hand on Heero's shoulder, thinking the worst, "Look Heero, you don't have to-"

"Grabbed my chest."

Duo pushes Heero off the seat, "Seriously, that's _it_? _That_ set _you_ off?"

Heero picks himself off the floor, and begins to brush himself off, "At first, I thought they recognized me. They were telling me that they believed I was a guy, then, before I knew what was happening, one of them grabbed my chest. The feeling was so weird; I barely even remember what happened next. Even now, I can feel that guy _touching_ me."

"What did you end up doin'?"

"I think I broke the guy's arm. Is it supposed to feel weird? It doesn't feel weird when I do it. Maybe it's only when it comes from another person," Heero sits next to Duo, puts his hand on Duo's chest, and squeezes, "Does it feel weird?"

"I'll have you know I sent someone to the hospital today just for slapping my ass. If you don't want to find out what happens when someone touches my breasts, I'd let go, _now_."

Heero doesn't move, "So it _does _feel weird. Huh, yours are softer and more bouncy. It must be a size factor." Duo starts to twitch, Heero continues, "Is it still weird?"

"Yes, Damn it! Do you pull this shit with Relena?"

Heero finally lets go, "Hn, you're right. It might be an affect of the liquid we drank. I should try it on Relena to see if it's normal."

Duo rubs his arm across his chest, "Yeah, you should probably try it next time you see her."

"Good idea." Heero rises from the chair and heads back to class.

As Duo watches him go, he wonders, "He sounded serious. I can't believe he didn't think I was joking." Duo grins, "This will be _epic_."

* * *

><p>EVENING: SAFE HOUSE<p>

"Worst day of school, ever!" Duo exclaims between bites of his dinner, "I _hate_ bein' a girl!"

Trowa picks up his empty dish and heads to the sink, "Did anyone learn anything today? Due to certain _issues_, we did not report in the middle of the day."

Duo mercilessly stabs at his food, "I learned that men are pigs. Did I ever act that disgusting?"

"Yes." Quatre nods, "I think I've seen you hit on every woman we have ever met."

Heero, who has long finished eating, rapidly taps the keys on his laptop, "I've been checking the backgrounds of the faculty and staff. So far, I have not come across anything unusual. We cannot rule out the possibility that our target could be a student."

"I don't suppose you found any solutions to our feminine problem," Wufei glances over Heero's shoulder at the computer screen.

"Our current mission takes priority." Heero simply responds. Wufei lets out a disgruntled snort. Duo mutters obscenities at his food. Quatre sighs into a bag of chips. Trowa continues to wash dishes, seemingly unfazed.

After a period of awkward silence, the door bell rings. Heero lifts his skirt, pulling out a pistol. Duo gets up and puts himself between Heero and and the door to the living room, "Whoa there! I asked Relena to come over to, uh, _help_ us out."

"Right..." Heero gives Duo a suspicious glare, but replaces the gun as he moves to the front door.

After Heero is out of earshot, Trowa turns from the sink, "All right Duo, why _exactly_ did you call Relena over?"

"Payback."

"Payback for what?" Quatre asks as he brings his dishes to the sink.

"Well," Duo huffs as he puts his hand on his hips, "Let's just say, Heero's been a dirty boy..." Duo walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. Curious, the others head into the living room as well.

"Duo tells me you're here to give us assistance with our situation. It would be a lot of help. We can't let this get in the way of the mission."

Relena steps inside along with another person. Quatre groans at the sight of this person. Trowa glares at the guest, "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Things have been rather dull, so I decided to pay Miss Relena a visit. She told me I would be entertained if I came to her school for a semester as an exchange student. I'm glad I'm not disappointed, _ladies_." Dorothy Catalonia flashes a coy grin as she makes herself comfortable on the couch.

"Duo..." Quatre crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at Duo, "Did you know about this?"

"Hell no! I just asked Relena to come over. I didn't know Dorothy was with her!"

"Stop whining and sit down," Heero interjects, "This was your idea."

Duo rolls his eyes as he plops down in an easy chair. After everyone has settled down, Relena starts to rummage through a bag she has brought with her, "First off, most of you seem to be in denial about your problem, so I brought a few things that will help all of you to be a little more self conscious. I, and probably most people, have noticed that none of you are wearing proper undergarments."

"That's disgusting!" Wufei exclaims.

"Not to mention uncomfortable!" Duo adds.

Dorothy sighs, "Duo, women don't _do_ comfortable. Pain _defines_ beauty."

"That is ridiculous." Quatre growls from his nest of blankets on the end of the couch facing the couch Dorothy, Relena, and Heero are seated on, "I tried that stuff. None of it fits right, and you're telling me that's how it's _supposed_ to be?"

"Oh, it isn't all _that_ uncomfortable," Relena pulls out a cloth measuring tape, "Once you know your size, you can find something you can get used to." Relena gets up and approaches Quatre, "Now get up, and let me find out your size."

Quatre pulls the blankets over himself, "No! Don't touch me!"

Dorothy clicks her tongue, "Now that just won't do, Quatre. Boxers and briefs are not meant for maxi pads..."

"How do you know about that!" Quatre hisses from the safety of his blanket fortress.

"Well, if you won't let Miss Relena help you, then I guess I'll have to-"

"No!" Quatre screams as he hops out of the blankets, "Anything, but that! Just get it over with!"

Relena puts the measuring tape around Quatre's waist and chest, "You don't know how long you're going to be stuck like this, and you have to stay undercover if you're going to catch this terrorist. All of you have faced dangers without a single complaint, and this should be no different. Just deal with it." Relena nods when she finishes, "My estimate was practically spot on." She goes back to her bag and pulls out a bra and some panties, "Here. I went ahead and bought what I thought would fit everyone, so none of you would have to go out again without them."

Quatre stares at the undergarments in Relena's hand, "Why'd you buy _pink_?"

"I picked those out," as soon as the words leave Dorothy's mouth, Quatre shudders, "I figured since you like that pink shirt you wear so much..."

Quatre sighs, knowing he's not going to win this battle, and takes the bra and panties from Relena, "Fine. I'll wear them," to Dorothy he adds, "Never shop for me again." Quatre marches off to his room to change.

"I thought he would be the _easiest_ to deal with," Relena sighs as she watches Quatre leave, "It must be the menstruation talking. Oh well." Relena goes over to Duo and yanks him out of his seat, "Next!"

"Okay, okay! No pulling!"

When Relena puts the measuring tape around Duo's waist, she pauses, slightly puzzled, "Duo, what kind of underwear are you wearing?"

Duo blushes, "Well, like you said, boxers looked kinda weird under the skirt, so I decided to go without."

Relena gives Duo a shocked expression, then finishes measuring him in silence. She then hands him the proper undergarments in silence.

"What?"

Heero raises an eyebrow, "The guy who slapped your ass probably thought you were _asking_ for it."

Duo blushes and stares at the underwear in his hand, "Whatever. I'll just do this in the kitchen," to Relena he whispers, "Don't do Heero 'til I come back, okay?"

"Why?"

"Don't worry about it," Duo pats Relena on the shoulder, "Thanks, babe." Without waiting for a response, Duo goes into the kitchen.

Trowa's fitting happens without complaint, "Thanks. I should check on Quatre. Dorothy, you might want to hold Wufei down for Relena." Trowa takes the underwear from Relena, and heads upstairs.

"I'm sure he'll be just-" Relena looks around and realizes that only herself, Heero, and Dorothy remain in the living room, "Really now! That's just immature!"

Heero gets up and walks into the kitchen. Relena flinches when she hears a scream from behind the kitchen door. A loud crash soon follows. Relena and Dorothy stare at the kitchen door as Heero speaks in his usual unfazed monotone, "If you read the research, then you wouldn't be taking this long. Besides, Wufei has been hiding in that crawlspace under the stairs since Relena started to measure Quatre."

"What?"

Dorothy approaches the door as the girls hear Duo slam open the little door behind the stairs, "What the Hell, man?"

"Why would I even _want_ to watch you change?"

"Unless, you have _Heero's_ hearing ability, there's _no way_ you'd know I was changing in here!"

"He actually has a point, Wufei. Duo could have been screaming about anything. Now, get back out there and let Relena fit you for a bra and panties."

"Yuy, do you even realize how _wrong_ that sounds?"

"Go."

Dorothy hears Wufei mutter under his breath as he approaches the door. The door opens, and Dorothy instantly grabs Wufei's arm, "Just in case you decide to run again."

"Damn you, woman!"

Relena sighs, "I really don't know what the big deal is." Relena does her best to measure Wufei quickly as he squirms in Dorothy's iron grip.

"I wonder," Dorothy giggles, "Is it easy to hold you, because of your smaller frame, or were you always this we-"

"Dorothy!" Relena shouts as Wufei's thrashing becomes worse, "Don't make it worse!"

As Quatre and Trowa come down the stairs, Quatre wonders aloud, "What on Earth is all the yelling for?" When they get to the base of the stairs, Quatre looks over at Wufei and the girls, "Oh, never mind."

"Damn idiot saw my boobs!" Duo complains to Quatre and Trowa.

"Tit for tit, Maxwell! You got a good look at mine yesterday!"

"That was your own damned fault!"

"You didn't have to stare!"

"Oh, please! I have taste!"

"You dic- Ugh! Woman!"

"If you would just hold still, I wouldn't be so rough!" Dorothy jeers, enjoying this way too much.

"Done! You'll be thanking me later. Wearing this will make you more self conscious, so you won't use the wrong lavatory anymore." Relena sighs as she finds and hands the underwear to Wufei.

Wufei grabs the underwear and growls, "I'm going to throw Maxwell's phone into the sea..."

"Just go ahead and try-"

"Duo..." Trowa interjects, "That's enough."

"Fine..." Duo pouts.

Relena turns to Heero, "Are you going to have a problem, too?"

"No." Heero walks up to Relena and lets her put the measuring tape around his chest, "We can't afford to stand out at this point."

"Good." Relena sighs with relief.

When Relena turns to pull out Heero's undergarments, Heero grabs her wrist as if he just thought of something, "Wait."

"Yes?" Heero lets go of Relena's wrist and grabs her chest, "Ah, Heero! What are you doing?"

Duo starts to giggle like mad as Heero innocently inquires, "Does it feel strange?"

Wufei face palms, Trowa cracks a little smile, and Quatre raises an eyebrow at Duo, "Is this your 'payback'? How _do_ you get him to do this stuff?"

"He, he just," Duo squeaks out between giggles, "He just, he pulls this crap... Ha ha! All on his own!" Duo clutches his sides, unable to suppress his laughter.

"I assume he demonstrated similar behavior toward you earlier today," Trowa says to Duo.

Gripping a chair to steady himself, Duo attempts to calm down, "Yeah, he got those detentions from breaking some guy's arm that did it to him. Now, I guess he wants to see if everybody thinks it's weird."

"Let go of Miss Relena, Heero Yuy! That's no way to treat a lady!"

"I see," Heero lets go, "That part of the body's _supposed_ to be sensitive. I thought it might've been an effect from the concoction we drank." Heero stares at his hand and mutters, "It is most definitely a size factor as well. At least, the feeling the giver receives is... Interesting."

Duo starts laughing again, "This is hilarious!"

"Didn't you get more detentions than Yuy and myself _combined_?"

"So what?" Duo, still violated by Wufei's peeping, glares at Wufei, "More detentions give me an excuse to stay late, and I don't think the terrorist is dumb enough to act during regular school hours. It's all strategy."

"You just thought that up right now, Maxwell."

"Did I?"

Wufei rolls his eyes, "Yes, you did. End of discussion. I'm going to finish my homework, and go to bed. Good night."

As Wufei starts up the stairs, Duo shouts, "You mean, finish up your essay on what restroom ladies use!"

"You're insufferable, Maxwell!" Wufei reaches his room and slams the door shut.

"The two of you are so immature," Trowa says as he runs his hands through his hair. After going through the length of his hair he pauses, "Weird."

Quatre looks up at Trowa, "What's weird?"

Trowa looks at Quatre and Duo, then snatches the end of Duo's braid. Duo snatches his hair right back, and meekly steps away from Trowa, "Don't touch my hair, okay. I get weird when pretty girls touch my hair," Duo looks away, "and I don't want to start thinkin' weird things, got it?"

"Not my intention," Trowa pulls on his own hair again, "With the exception of you, it seems our hair falls differently than before. Maybe even grew a bit longer."

"So?"

Quatre makes a thoughtful expression, "Well, I guess it would look a little funny if we kept the same styles, although, I have to disagree with you about Duo's hair. It may not be as noticeable, but his hair looks a little different too."

"Now that you mention it," Trowa reaches for Duo's bangs, but Duo flinches and steps back, "Looking closer, it does look... off..."

"We really do look a bit different. That's probably why no one has recognized Heero at the institute. I mean, Relena probably would have caught on soon enough, but people who may have only met us in passing certainly wouldn't know who we are."

"Quat," Duo cuts in, "Don't. Don't say that too loud. If you do, even if we find a cure, Heero will make all of us stay this way until we find and convict that terrorist. That could take _months_. How many times do you want to go through ragging?"

Quatre bites his lip, "I see your point."

Meanwhile, Heero sees Relena and Dorothy off for the night. "Be careful."

Pagan shuts Relena's door and gets in the driver's seat. Relena smiles at Heero, "See you tomorrow at school," Relena giggles a little, "It's kind of nice to say that to you again."

"Hn," and a nod is Heero's only reply as Pagan drives off.

When Heero turns back toward the house, he sees Duo standing in the doorway, "Aw, cutest lesbian relationship ever."

"Get in the house, damn it."


	4. Feminine Diseases and Swimsuits

_A/N: Hello again! Thanks so much for your kind reviews, favs, and alerts! I hope everyone continues to enjoy the story!_

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><p>MORNING: SAFE HOUSE<p>

Heero sighs when Duo enters the kitchen, "Why are you walking around in just your underwear and a t-shirt? You're making the rest of us wait."

Trowa looks up from his breakfast, takes one quick look at Duo, then returns to his now incredibly interesting cereal. Duo sucks in a breath, ready to combat Heero's comment, and Quatre rubs his temples and mutters, "Here we go..."

"_I'm_ makin' us late? It's not _my_ fault that Wu-man shut himself up in the _only_ bathroom for the past half-hour! What the Hell is he _doin'_ in there?"

Heero rolls his eyes, and gets up from his chair. As he walks out of the room, Heero says to no one in particular, "I'll persuade him to hurry it up."

Before Heero even reaches the stairs, a shriek from the bathroom causes him to pause. Heero merely glares up the stairs, then Quatre pushes him aside, "Of all things sacred in the world, what's his problem now?" Quatre storms up the stairs, and proceeds to bang on the bathroom door and yell at Wufei, "There better be something seriously wrong with you this time, because I'm sick of hearing your 'it's not wearing off yet' rant!"

Duo joins the slightly annoyed Heero at the base of the stairs. Duo places a firm hand on Heero's shoulder as Heero growls in Quatre's direction, "Man, don't. I'm pretty sure raggin' Quatre is the same as zero system Quatre."

"Hn," Heero relaxes slightly, "it's possible."

"Winner!" Wufei shouts back in rage from inside the bathroom, "You gave me your cursed feminine disease!" For a good solid minute, the only sound in the house was Wufei's seething, then...

Quatre bursts out laughing. A slam is heard when he falls against a closet door, clutching his sides in an uncontrollable fit of giggles. Heero raises an eyebrow, and Duo snorts. Trowa's still in kitchen, but the tiniest hint of a chuckle escapes from the kitchen to Duo and Heero's ears. Duo lets out another snort, and Heero glares up the stairs again.

"Has _anyone_ besides myself and Trowa read those research materials? Wufei, it's _not_ a-"

Quatre, still laughing quite loudly, cuts Heero off, "Don't, don't tell him! It's so much better this way!"

The door to the bathroom flies open, and Wufei glares at Quatre, "Tell, me, _what!_"

Quatre calms himself, and looks up at Wufei. Wufei is crossing his arms over his uniform's shirt, and some toilet paper can be seen trailing down between his bare legs. Quatre bites his lip and snickers, but not at Wufei's half-dressed and toilet papered state. Quatre's gaze is directed at Wufei's head, because his hair is fixed in two low pigtails.

"What are you staring at?" Wufei inquires in his most threatening tone. Quatre points at Wufei's hair. In revelation, Wufei gasps, or growls, it's hard to tell, and yanks the ties out of his hair. "Y-you didn't see that!"

Duo shouts up the stairs, "See what?"

"None of your _damned_ business, Maxwell!"

Quatre takes a few deep calming breaths and gets up off the floor, "Sorry. Um, do you, uh, want some, help?" Quatre casually points at the toilet paper hanging out from Wufei's underwear.

Wufei sighs in frustration and looks away, "If you don't mind..."

* * *

><p>TWO HOURS LATER: ST. GABRIEL INSTITUTE<p>

Duo pouts at Quatre and Wufei as the five are headed toward the pool, "You guys suck. I want a nurse's note to get out of swimmin' lessons, too!"

Wufei smirks, "What's a matter, Maxwell? Can't swim?"

"That's not it!" Duo protests, "It's... Well, it's..." Duo trails off as he begins to focus on the ground.

"Pathetic! You can't swim!"

Duo punches Wufei's shoulder, "I said, _that's not it_!"

"It's the swimsuit," Heero answers for Duo, "At least the guy you kicked is still in the hospital..."

"Who was he anyway?" Quatre wonders.

"I dunno," Duo blows up at his bangs, "Some snooty jack ass with really short blonde hair that made him look even more snooty..."

Being in front of everyone, nobody can see the small grin appear on Heero's face, but as soon as it appeared, it was gone. When Heero opens the locker room's door, he catches a towel being thrown toward his face, "Dorothy," Heero acknowledges the one who threw the towel at him.

"Heero Yuy," Dorothy mockingly responds as she waves her hand to show that the locker room is empty save for the five boys and herself, "I took the liberty of getting everyone to change and arrive at the pool early, so you boys have the room all to yourselves."

Duo groans, "You didn't have to..."

Dorothy grins at Duo, "Oh come now, Duo Maxwell. Don't tell me you'd be lewd enough for me to make use of Hilde Schbeiker's email address..."

Duo's eyebrow's fly up in shock, and he gasps, "Where did you get that?"

"Miss Relena got it from her when she visited her in the hospital after the war, and I got it from Miss Relena." Dorothy simply answers.

Quatre clicks his tongue, "Miss Relena or Miss Relena's mobile phone?"

Dorothy smiles, "That doesn't matter." Dorothy giggles as she exits the locker room.

While Wufei and Quatre wait on the bench, Heero, Duo, and Trowa change into modest one piece swimsuits. As expected, Heero and Trowa emerge after only a few seconds, but Duo doesn't seem to be coming out any time soon. Heero's eyebrow twitches slightly, "Duo get dressed, now."

"No."

Heero gives Duo the 'Yuy patented glare of death' from outside the stall door, "That was _not_ a request, Duo. If you do not participate, it will look suspicious."

"I'm not doin' it, Heero. Just tell the swim instructor that my parents died a horrible death at sea. I've had dudes starin' and hittin' on me since we got to this school, and I'm not giving them more fuel for their sick fantasies."

Quatre sighs, "I knew you'd stop bragging about it in less than two days..."

"It could be worse," Trowa points out, "It could be a bikini."

"Stop being a child. It's a very modest private school one piece swimsuit. Put. It. On." Heero opens the stall, grabs the swimsuit from the bench, and shoves it into Duo's face.

Duo groans, but snatches the swimwear from Heero's hand and closes the door to the stall. The others sit on the bench and wait. The door to the locker room opens, and Relena steps in. "The teacher asked me to check on you. Are you guys all right?"

"We had to take time to persuade Duo to put on the swimsuit." Heero responds plainly.

Relena walks over to the stall, "Do you need help with it, Duo?"

"Damn! Is it supposed to be tight? Modest my ass!"

Relena cautiously peers into the stall, "Hmm, it seems to fit fine. Actually, I'm a little jealous." Relena giggles.

"Yeah, it's a good thing these guys are such tight asses, I don't need them leerin' too..." Duo steps out of the changing room. Simultaneously, the other four take their attention elsewhere. Duo puts his hands on his hips, "Oh, come on!"

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry for the short chapter. I'm still working on the terrorist character, but I hope to start some of that in Chapter Five. ^_^ Thanks again for reading!_


	5. Detention and a Suspect

_Hello again. I don't know why, but I decided to pick this fic back up and continue it. I have been working on a lot of original pieces lately instead, but it's always fun to write fanfics too. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it._

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><p>MID-AFTERNOON: ST. GABRIEL INSTITUTE; DETENTION ROOM<p>

Duo taps his pen repeatedly against his notebook. Wufei twitches in time to the noise, while Heero diligently scribbles a punishment sentence over and over again in his notebook. A nun paces in the front of the classroom, occasionally glancing toward the back of the room where the three are seated. Thankfully, the focus is not all on them; there are about five other students in the room as well.

Bored, Duo raises his hand to request the most common of all time wasters, "Hey Sister, may I please use the restroom?"

The nun sighs, "Very well, but do it quickly."

Without another word, Duo exits the room. Even though his real reason for leaving the room was to poke around for suspicious activity, he still takes a pitstop at the girls' room. _'Damn, I was kinda hopin' the rumors about the girls havin' a fancier bathroom was true. Seein' it for real is disappointin'.'_

Finished with that business, Duo starts to head toward the school's records room, one of the first places Heero recommended to search. When Duo approaches the door, not only does he notice the door is ajar, but he can tell that lock was picked. Cautiously, Duo pushes the door open slightly and looks inside. A boy with deep blonde hair is sitting with his back facing the door. He wears the institute's male school uniform, so rapidly reading through various files on a faculty computer is definitely odd. Duo tries to look over the boy's shoulder to see what kind of information the boy is gathering. Suddenly, the boy stands and begins to turn. Duo, swiftly and quietly, returns the door to its previous position. He turns to make his get away, when he feels his skirt catch on something sticking out of the doorframe. "Shit," Duo hisses out the curse as he tugs on his skirt.

The boy casually slips into the hall, and is mildly surprised by the young lady tugging on her skirt. He reaches down, and calmly slips the fabric out from the doorframe, "My, my, it'll rip if you keep pulling like that, you know."

Now free, Duo steps back and looks up at the boy, _'Dammit, if this guy's the one, I could be in serious trouble already. I need an excuse...'_ Duo's mind races, but still gathers a good description of the suspicious student, just in case. His deep blonde hair is gathered loosely in a short ponytail, he is probably about the same age as Duo, and his eyes are a very pale blue. The uniform is a standard St. Gabriel Institute's male uniform, without the customizations most students like to try to get away with.

The boy flashes Duo a bright smile, "What's a pretty lady like yourself doing wandering after hours all alone, hmm?"

_'Crap,'_ Duo looks away as he manages to respond, "Vending machine, uh, I was returning to detention after using the bathroom, and I was hopin' to get a soda or somethin'." In his head Duo tries to justify his story, _'A soda would be real good right now, and I think I saw one around the lunchroom. If I came up empty, I was probably goin' to stall going back by doin' that anyway... Also, come to think of it, I am a little turned-around; I don't think I'd be able to find my way back without the map either...' _Duo continues, "I think I got lost, ha ha... I'm sorta new here..."

"I see," the boy takes a step closer to Duo, "Well, I moved here around the beginning of the term, but I'm pretty sure I got the hang of it by now. Come on, I'll take you to the vending machine." The boy holds out his hand, "My name's Eins Koenig, by the way. Pleased to meet you, Miss..."

Duo pauses before finally shaking Eins' hand, "Duo Maxwell. Thanks."

Duo follows Eins to the lunchroom. When they get to the vending machine, Eins pops a bill into the machine, "What's your pleasure?"

"Huh, oh, just a cola's fine," Duo answers before he even realizes what's going on. The revelation kicks in just as the can drops down with a clank. Completely dumbfounded, Duo accepts the drink silently, unable to even move.

Eins runs a finger across Duo's cheek before turning and walking away, "I really hope we meet again, Miss Duo Maxwell. Maybe I can buy you another drink."

* * *

><p>EVENING: SAFE HOUSE<p>

Heero stares angrily at Duo, who is currently still in his frozen state, clutching the unopened soda with both hands, but now in the center of the living room in their temporary home. Heero and Wufei found him like that in front of the vending machine when Duo never returned to detention. Of course, this granted Duo even more detentions, and Heero and Wufei had to drag Duo back to the cottage. Heero's patience is wearing thin, as he has been failing at getting any response from Duo, never mind any explanations.

"Tch, this is outrageous, even for Maxwell," Wufei huffs from his seat on the couch.

"Hn," Heero growls as he decides to use a more drastic method of snapping Duo out of it. Heero yanks the soda from Duo's hands with a single hard tug, shakes it, aims it point blank at Duo's face, and pulls the tab open. The cola flies out of the can right at Duo.

Duo finally reacts by taking a large step back and sputters, "Holy crap! What the Hell, Heero?!"

"About time," Heero glares, "You've been out of it for quite a while."

Wufei turns and yells at the kitchen door, "Barton, Winner, get out here! I think we're going to get an explanation now."

Quatre and Trowa come out of the kitchen. Trowa watches Duo try to dry himself off, "What happened to you?"

Duo focuses on the ground, "I don't want to talk about it."

"The school has cameras, you know," Heero warns, "Don't make me waste my time sorting through the footage."

Duo winces at Heero's tone, and sighs, "Fine, but I'm gettin' this crap off me first."

About ten minutes later, Duo returns to the living room to find the others seated and ready for Duo's story. Duo sits in a vacant chair, and gazes at the floor, "I saw a student using a computer in the school's records room. It looked like he picked the lock to get in. He didn't see me lookin' in, but he caught me just outside the door. Then, he, uh, h-he bought me a... a d-drink..."

When Duo stopped speaking, the others stayed silent for a moment. Then Quatre giggles, "I knew you'd have to deal with that eventually."

"Ugh," Duo rolls his eyes as he leans back in the chair.

"I don't see what the problem is," Heero shrugs, "We now have a suspect, so we are making good progress. What else can you tell us about this person?"

Duo doesn't bother to sit up, "He said his name was Eins Koenig. Looks about our age; couldn't tell what grade he was in... Blonde, blue eyes..."

"And, he bought you that soda?" Trowa adds with a raised eyebrow.

Heero grunts, "Well, maybe he did catch you..."

"Or," Quatre giggles again, "he thought Duo was cute."

Duo puts his head in his hands, "I think I'd rather believe he's on to us..."

Heero grabs his laptop and starts looking up Eins' record, "We're going to have to find out either way. Duo, you should try to get to know him better."

"What, are you serious? No way!" Duo tries to stare down Heero. He loses within seconds, of course. "Fine, whatever. What exactly do you want me to do?"

"We need to find out what he wants from you. If he's acting or not... Just play along with him for now." Heero goes back to focusing on his laptop.

"Does that involve dating him?" Trowa tries not to laugh.

Duo straightens in his chair and glares at Trowa, "Man, I thought we agreed we wouldn't give him any crazy ideas!"

Heero's expression remains unchanged, "If that's what it takes to get intel, then we should use these bodies to our advantage. We're undercover, don't blow that."

Duo slumps in the chair again, "This sucks."


End file.
